THE GROUNDSKEEPER’S SHED
Welcome to the UniVerSi-Toy’s Groundskeep’s Shed
Meet Gus — Head of EVERYTHING that needs fixed, cut and scaped.
Where tools disappear, gossip grows like weeds,
and Gus insists he “runs the whole damn campus”
despite doing absolutely nothing. 😆🌲
Welcome to The Groundskeeper’s Shed, home of the legendary Gus — a man who has worked here since “before the Dean was even born,” according to him (and according to no one else). Gus claims to run the entire campus, but students quickly realize he mostly wanders around yelling at sprinklers, flirting with nurses, and giving tours nobody asked for.
He is the UniversiTOY mystery:
• appears everywhere but belongs nowhere
• knows every rumor before it’s a rumor
• tools go missing the moment he “organizes” them
• smells faintly of motor oil and arrogance
• claims multiple pensions he definitely doesn’t have
Gus teaches:
🌲 Campus Survival Skills
🌲 “Don’t Touch That” 101
🌲 The History of Stuff That Used To Be Here
🌲 Lawn Mower Feng Shui
🌲 How To Walk Around Like You’re In Charge (Even When You Aren’t)
🌲 Gossip Interpretation for Beginners
When his Shed officially opens, students will have access to:
🧰 The Lost & Found he never catalogs
🛠️ Tool rental he pretends is “exclusive”
🌾 Gus’s Guide to Avoiding Work
📋 Unhinged campus wisdom
📞 Emergency hotline that goes straight to voicemail
😆 And of course… surprise appearances everywhere on campus
He’s loud, he’s nosy, he’s 100% confident for no reason —
and somehow, everyone loves him.
“If you break it, you fix it. I’m on break
for the next 40 years.”
Stay Updated
“Want updates from Gus? Don’t worry he forgets to send emails. But sign up anyway.”
“Gus doesn’t share your info, mostly because he can’t remember how to.”
Groundskeeper Gus Inquiry Form
