Welcome to Roman Slick’s Janitor’s Closet  the most dangerous room on campus, and somehow also the most comforting.  I’m Roman, the man who sees EVERYTHING.

If the walls could talk, they’d tell my stories… but baby, trust me  I tell them better.

This closet holds:

Tools
Parts
Flashlights
Forbidden objects that DEFINITELY didn’t come from the Pleasure Playground
Packages from students I pretend not to notice

And of course…a notebook full of campus secrets that I clean up, lock up, and NEVER bring up… unless you ask nicely.

When my department opens, you’ll get:

Maintenance request forms that don’t judge
Lost & Found (95% toys, 5% dignity)
“Noise complaint” solutions
Mystery spills analysis (I’m not kidding)
The Slick Seal of Cleanliness™
My approved list of “don’t try this at home” toys

This closet is like me a little messy, oddly charming, and full of things you probably shouldn’t touch.  But damn… you’ll want to.

I’m Roman Slick, campus janitor, unofficial therapist, keeper of lost toys, and the guy everyone calls when something breaks… or someone does.  Trust me nothing shocks me anymore. I’ve seen spills that defy science, toys that mysteriously “walked off,” and situations that required bleach, gloves, and prayer.

This closet is still being organized (don’t judge me), but once it opens, you’ll be able to:

Report messes, mishaps & mysterious puddles
Request repairs or discreet cleanup
Recover lost toys, items, or evidence
Peek into the campus Lost & Found
Submit “situations” that require my… personal attention and

Check ME out! 

Until then, behave yourself.
Or don’t.
Either way, I’ll be the one cleaning it up.